If you have been reading my blog, you will know that this year is the first year I have started tomatoes from seed. If you have never done it before, you cannot realize how much you get attached to a plant.
When the seeds first broke the soil, I clapped my hands in excitement. When they put out their first set of leaves, I gathered my family around to celebrate. I somehow managed to keep them from being mutilated even though they are in a house with my husband, 2 kids, and 2 crazy dogs. I babied them like I have never babied a plant before, making sure they only had organic fertilizer with rain water. I talked to them and petted their leaves gently, and we talked about how many tomatoes they would give me in return for my diligent efforts (hey, what goes on in the greenhouse, STAYS in the greenhouse!). When the time came, on Easter, that they were to leave their pots forever, I think I had a tear in my eye as I lovingly patted them into their compost rich beds.
So, imagine my horror when the other day I was strolling through the garden, checking up on ‘everyone’, and one of my Snowberry tomato plants was….gone. My mind was reeling and I felt nauseated. I fell to my knees, sobbing, crying to God “Why, oh whyyyyyy????” (ok, not really) and there I saw the culprit. A cutworm. He was happily STILL MUNCHING on my precious, heirloom, spoiled Snowberry tomato plant. He saw me coming and tried to duck back into the ground. Nope, that just ain’t happening. You do the crime, you’re gonna pay the time! I ripped him out of the ground, calling him a very vulgar name which I will not repeat here (and, after all, I did feel a little bad about saying it… I mean, maybe cutworms DO know who their fathers are, after all?) and gave him an immediate conviction sans trial. The punishment? Death by chicken. It was the worst possible thing I could think of. While I would have loved to smear him into the grass, the thought of allowing a chicken to peck him to death, while throwing him several times in the air made me giddy.
He in still in death row, sitting in a little glass bowl. Execution will be today at high noon for those who wish to attend. No funeral has been scheduled, however, in lieu of flowers/plants/casseroles, a donation may be made to the Tomatoes Cut Down In Their Prime fund.